Will the return to ‘boring’ politics make all Britain’s problems magically disappear? If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you

“We’re not pitching you a new Netflix series,” intoned Labour’s shadow business secretary, Jonathan Reynolds, this week. “We’re not putting on politics as entertainment.” And certainly absolutely no one could accuse the extremely likely next government of that. The thing about a new Netflix series, of course, is that the streamer will want to have an absolutely nailed-down idea of how much it is going to cost and how it will be funded before it gets the green light. Weirdly, you have to do this if you are pitching Is It Cake?, but not if you are seeking to run the world’s sixth-largest economy. This means it’s possible that the thing the frontrunner party tells you is the manifesto is not actually a manifesto, but something else. Cake, maybe. Is it cake?

“We want to return to serious government,” Reynolds continued loftily, “to effective policy and to politics as public service, not as pantomime.” Right. One of the things we’ve heard for some time now is ordinary people saying they just want politics to be boring again – which is understandable, but always feels rather cargo-cultish. It is as though the fact that politics was boring back in the good times logically means that the good times can be restored by somehow making politics boring. I … don’t think it works like that. Without wishing to unleash any spoilers for the season ahead, the UK faces huge and deepening problems – and anyone who tells you they can be fixed by “boring politics” is selling something.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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Prime minister’s campaign has become the only spectacle less appealing than England at the Euros

“I will never stop fighting for this country,” ran Rishi Sunak’s morning message to a nation that, if the polls are to be believed, overwhelmingly just wants him to stop fighting for this country ASAP. In any case, since almost the start of this campaign, the prime minister has been pegged as a Normandy deserter. He totally wanted to fight on the beaches for this country – but unfortunately he wanted to do a telly interview more.

Undeterred, however, Sunak appended the above message to today’s exciting new Conservative attack ad. This shows an elderly man, a woman and a child from behind, holding up their hands. We know it’s a surrender because the caption is “DON’T SURRENDER YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE TO LABOUR”. Probably the best thing you can say about it is that it’s good the actors could get paid the day rate without having to show their faces to the camera.

The work and pensions secretary’s colleagues must be trapped under something heavy because no one but Stride is pulling their weight

• BBC election leaders’ debate live: latest updates

Regrettably many of us will have been awake a long time today before the latest broadcast round undertaken by the Last Cabinet Minister, Mel Stride. Even so, a Mel Stride appearance during this election has developed a strong flavour of all those mornings in Groundhog Day when Bill Murray’s clock radio lurches into life halfway through I Got You Babe. The dormant voter need only hear the genial work and pensions secretary say “let’s not get too carried away here” to sit bolt upright as the grim reality dawns once more. As the long days have passed, these listeners have worked their way through all the emotions: disbelief, anger, resignation, smash radio, restart cycle. Just hearing that Stride is “joining us after the headlines” or “up next” produces a Pavlovian response: a million-yard stare and the realisation that it is the general election again – it is somehow still the general election – and, indeed, it may always and for ever be the general election.

And yet, to lightly adapt the words that once graced Mario Balotelli’s base layer: “WHY ALWAYS MEL?” Even broadcast interviewers playing the Sonny to Mel’s Cher have begun to ask where the rest of the cabinet are. It’s honestly hard to say. Ladbrokes? I cannot remember a single general election where the cabinet has been so utterly invisible in the national campaign. They may as well be in witness protection.